Self Doubt, AkuRoku
by XXRikuXXAxelXX
Summary: This was originally a songfic. I just took the lyrics out because it's apparently against fanfiction rules to post songfics. This is AkuRoku with some side XigDem. There is a brief mention of Chester which is from Demyx Time by Parle Productions. I don't own anything. Warning inside. T just to be safe.
_**Possible Triggers: Mentions of worthlessness and self-loathing.**_

Roxas watched Axel walk through another portal, busy with work. He was working quite often due to the need of mischief around the worlds. Most of the other nobodies were overstrained with a workloads just like Axel's. Axel was getting paperwork done and trying to keep people in line. Roxas hadn't seen much of his boyfriend in the past weeks. He was missing him. The redhead would stay long nights over in Demyx's room, getting work done. Roxas grew jealous of the other blonde. Sometimes he even convinced himself Axel was cheating, but everytime he'd drop by unannounced they were just neck deep in work. Throwing the idea back into his mind vault until a later time.

But Roxas couldn't help but feel that the redhead was up to something. Demyx was a cute nobody. Adorable and goofy. Most of the male nobodies were crushing on him. Luxord and Xigbar fought over him constantly. Marluxia and Zexion devised plans to get the mulleted blonde to fall in love with one of them. Even Saix, whose nose was constantly up Xemnas's ass, wanted Demyx as his own. It seemed that every nobody wanted him.

Roxas felt insecure around Demyx. The other blonde was perfect and he was just a broken kid. He never even knew why Axel claimed to love him. Demyx was perfection, everything someone would want. And Roxas just felt so ugly next to him. He felt so unwanted because he couldn't compare to the other. Demyx's smile brought everyone closer and made everyone happy. And his voice was like an angel's voice projecting from the heavens. _  
_

Even the nights when Axel would spend the night with Roxas he'd mumbled stuff about work and Demyx. Like simple math problems and the number of dead heartless. Just the mention of the other blonde in Axel's sleep made Roxas openly weep. He'd sob while the naked man beside him mumbled. Axel would wake up to the tears.

"Are you okay, Baby?" He'd ask, a concerned tone gripping his voice.

"No..." Roxas would push his face in his knees, that were pushed against his chest.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No..."

"Wanna cuddle?"

"Yes..." The blonde would easily sink into the embrace of the other male. His nose buried against Axel's neck, breathing him in. The redhead pets his hair soothingly. Roxas is still crying but soon the tears are lost in meaningful kisses.

Demyx just has that smile. That smile that pulls men in left and right.

The other day, Roxas sees him on the counter in the kitchen, blabbing on about his pet heartless, Chester. Xaldin is cooking but he is hanging onto each word. Xigbar is dreamily staring into Demyx's eyes as the innocent heartless continues a story about the time Chester got in Xemnas's underwear drawer. Luxord is sitting to the right of Demyx, running his fingers up and down Demyx's arm. Marluxia is behind him, chin on his shoulder, nuzzling his signature mullet. Roxas's blood boils at the site. Even Saix and Xemnas were gathered around, listening to the other blonde, not even mad by the stories details involving the oldest's undergarments. Saix has this sickening puppy face on whenever Demyx brings up a sad or frustrating part. Zexion is sitting on the counter next to Demyx and his head is on his other shoulder, writing down something in his book.

Axel and Xion are no where to be seen. Larxene has no interest in the bubbly, blonde boy. So she simply just grabs food and scampers out of her room.

Vexen and Lexaeus are off on mission but if they were here, Roxas was sure the two tall beings would be cooing over the blonde.

Roxas hated these time. This happened a lot. Even at meetings, Demyx would raise his hand like he was in school and then start to waste all of their time with a pointless story.

Roxas just hated all the attention that Demyx got from the other members, he wished that he was that important to everyone, but he was sure if he went missing no one would even realize.

But why did Demyx want Axel?!

He could have anyone else... Axel is the only person who likes Roxas, and yet Demyx is requesting to go on missions with Axel.

Roxas just loves Axel so much and can't imagine a day without him. And to think of someone taking his love from him, crushed his heart.

"Demyx!" Roxas called out to the mulleted man. The happy-go-lucky teen rounded the corner to see the shorter male whom had called for him.

"What is it Roxy?" He asked, gleeful confusion on his face.

"Leave Axel alone, he's mine!" The smaller blonde punched Demyx. This caused the older's nose to bleed.

"What are you talking about? I don't have any intentions for Axel, geez." Demyx pouted, tearfully. The blonde pinched his nose to stop the blood but it was already dripping to the floor and all over his cloak.

Xigbar and Axel walked in that direction, chatting about mission details, when they discovered Demyx bleeding.

"Shit! What happened DemDem?" Xigbar asked, throwing an arm around the bleeding blonde. "Axel, get the first aid kit." The pirate suggested, sending the redhead down the hallway.

"Roxas, hit me... I wasn't even doing anything. I heard him call my name so I came to see what he wanted and he punched me in the nose." Demyx was crying hysterically. Xigbar pulled the boy in and kissed his forehead. Roxas stood there arms crossed.

Axel returned with the first aid kit. He patched up Demyx's nose and cleaned him up. Demyx smiled and thanked Axel with a hug before turning back to Xigbar. The two nobodies kissed sweetly.

"Love ya Demy, but Roxas, why did you hit Demyx?" Xigbar, held the tall blonde by the waist as he asked keyblade wielder.

"He's always around Axel and... Axel is mine. They're always going on missions with each other, because Demyx requests Axel to go with him. I'm sick of it. Axel is my boyfriend..." He huffed.

The other three looked confused. Then Axel laughed loudly.

"Roxas, I go with Demyx because Xemnas told him he can't go with Xigbar anymore. Demyx is scared to go alone and if he can't have his boyfriend, he wants his best friend. Friend. F-R-I-E-N-D. That's all, got it memorized?" Axel said with a smile, picking up Roxas. "But I promise to you, that no one will ever replace you. I have only love for you in my non-existent heart."

"Oh, we do too have hearts. Otherwise how would I love my Xiggy. Ain't that right?" Demyx rubbed his nose against Xigbar's playfully.

"Of course, Demyx. Whatever you say..." Xigbar nuzzled the boy. Roxas rolled his eyes and hugged Axel.


End file.
